I really don’t know how to start this story so I’ll start from the beginning. I’ve never been so confused in my life, I’m a mother of 3 children and we moved here to Utah from East St Louis IL a city where anything goes, but I wanted my children to be prosperous and live a life where they didn’t have to dodge bullets all day and night and because I have two girls I didn’t want them to be like me pregnant at16 and trying to raise a baby and I was still a baby. So I ran I had family here so I ran. When we arrived here it’s something about Utah it’s like you can’t leave , it was good at first I’ve been here 17 years but I can’t breathe. So all of a sudden covid 19 starts and the racial violence had started to fester and I felt it I can’t sleep, my nerves are a wreck and yesterday I was told by my Dr that I’m suffering with yet another thing called anxiety. I was raised by a strong black woman and we never knew anything about anxiety, I’m like WTF , I’m diabetic , high pretension , along with having pageant disease, now I’ve added Anxiety.
Hello and thank you for sharing your story with us. Usually when we feel scared to breathe, that’s actually the thing we should be doing. It sounds like life has been harder than usual for you as of late dealing with medical ailments as well as emotional problems. Making such a big move for your kids shows your strength as woman and a mother and defintely speaks to the need to keep up that “strong black woman” persona. Sometimes however, our bodies and even our minds have a strange way of telling us when we need to slow down. Some things that help us slow down when we feel panicked can be grounding techniques like deep breathing exercises. Focusing on the breath helps to calm us and regulate some of the panicky feelings and worry that we tend to have from time to time. It might also be useful to talk to someone about some of the anxiety that you may be experiencing. With all these changes, and being a black woman existing in a very white space can be confusing in and of itself at times. Dr. Neice Jones has a healing circle for women of color (https://blackradicalrestoration.com) where they can share their stories and be supported in the process. Feeling connected to others goes a long way in improving our general mood and instilling hope when all seems lost. If you are interested in joining the healing circle, please email them at [email protected], to express your interest. Thank you so much again for sharing your story with us!